Magical pixie dust? Or boots with anti-gravity?

This is a pretty old entry, one month I think?


pic from

I don’t know why I try… I thought I could stop myself… I just couldn’t. You just draw me closer and closer, and you don’t even know it :| although… I don’t want you know… It’s stupid I know… Why don’t I want you to know? It’s the same reason why don’t want to fall in love… I’m just not ready… It hurts (it’s kinda hard to explain) and I made a vow to myself. If can’t fix my life, the life which I messed up myself, then I can’t… It sounds stupid, but what I’ve done to all those people is even worse. I can’t find peace within myself, not until I sort all of this out. To be honest… I don’t even know how long that’ll take, it could take years even never…

The reason why I’m so scared is because, I just can’t stop falling for you :| everyday I think of a way to make you smile or laugh, and it makes me happy that you do. I’m really happy that I could make you smile or laugh or whatever, yet… There’s always a feeling of regret afterward… You could say that, the moments I spend with you are bittersweet.

I like you hell lot, I like you so much I already let you into my life without me knowing it :| and it fucking hurts, cause I can’t move forward from where I stand (…where I stand in the relationship between us)

But who knows… maybe it’s just infatuation…

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