Things could still get worse

For the people who know me, my life, and what I’m going through now, you would think I’m leading a kinda normal life. I thought so too… I hoped so. For the past few months I did not write anything cause nothing really happened to me that’s significant (other than those two important dates, but I’d rather not talk about it). To think that life would finally give me a chance in living right… People know that I didn’t make it to the 1st tri-sem of La Salle, but I got in the 2nd, which is still good for me (it’s better than nothing). I thought “This is it, I can somehow fix myself through this, somehow I can fix my life, screw the people around me, you break it, you fix it, that’s what I always say.” I was really happy that I was finally entering college. A new chapter in life, full of different possibilities, something to definitely look forward to. New people, new ideas, new things to learn… I thought it would be smooth sailing from here on out.

My plan was to stay here and study until we could migrate to the States, then I’ll continue my studies there. Unfortunately life has the tendency of ripping my fucking balls off and shoving them down my throat in such a manner that I would never suspect it of ever happening.

Mother woke me up one day with really bad news, one I’ve never heard in a while. We were being forced to move out and we have 90 days to do it (since that time).

Apparently the owner’s vacation house was up in smoke a few days before the bad news arrived and from what I heard from mother, they needed a place to put their stuff that survived the fire. And lo and behold, guess which distressed family with no place to go to they chose to shove aside from their home so that they could put their STUFF, us :D.

So now, the plan was totally ruined and now we have to look for a place that’s cheap and near. But mother somehow doesn’t understand the importance of college life and the distance I have to travel to and from it. She says that I have to make some sacrifices for travelling and so that we could find a cheap house OUTSIDE MANILA. Are you fucking insane?!?! People who live outside Manila move in closer to get to their colleges, not move out! Just because the place is cheap does not solve the problem! I would rather live in the condo that we found instead of that place at Binangonan. Binangonan!! DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING FAR THAT PLACE IS?!

The house isn’t just the problem! It’s the things that we have here. I’ve got lot’s of stuff here that were significant to me when I was growing up. And it really is hard to part with them…

Now I’m in trouble of finding a place, our stuff which we care about, my mother being a constant bitch (not really helping at all) and my own personal problems. My life just keeps getting worse and I don’t think there’s a way to stop it. Bad stuff really just happens out of nowhere to people who are already struggling with their life, people who really want to fix the wrongs they’ve done, just like me. Life has a sadistic way of preventing that fix by giving us more and bigger, unpredictable problems. Who knows, this may be the end of the road for me.

Screw your problems and your life, MINE’S FUCKING FUCKED UP AND IT AIN’T FUCKING OVER YET.

This is true prejudice.

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