It’s been more than a decade since I last saw you. Oh how I wish I could travel back in time and stopped myself from crossing the road… I still can’t believe you’re gone. You were the closest person to me. You were the big sister I always needed. You were the only person (aside from my parents) who saw that I had something great within me. But we’ll never see how great you would’ve been. I sometimes wake-up from nightmares of that day. I obviously have not found any closure to this, and I don’t think I ever will.
Not being able to see you is already too much for me to bear, but to forget how you sound like, how you feel like, how you smell like, even how your face looks like… it’s really really really painful. When I try to look those memories we created, I don’t see you anymore. All I see is this silhouette and her floral dress. One physical thing I do remember is your smile. Your smile always had a way of lighting up my world. And you would always have this soft cheerful laugh each time you grinned. But in my memories, I can’t hear that wonderful laughter of yours. I can’t even hear you anymore…
Maybe in the next ten years… nah, forget about it.
The Little Boy You Helped