Rediscovering Self-Love: The Girl

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I got my grade from my professor, and I’m fairly happy with it! If only I submitted my final paper on time, I would’ve probably gotten a 3.5. Well, I can’t really bend my grades in my department nor would I want to. Anyway, this means that I can go ahead and write with a clear and relaxed mind! Unless I fail in German4, that would just be crap.

SO! Let me tell you about this girl that I insanely like and have lost attraction towards after one evening. She’s the type that people would ignore at first sight. Were you thinking of love at first sight? She’s pretty much invisible, until you let her speak or until she wants to speak. She’s extremely intelligent, probably the most intelligent out of our entire European Studies batch. I’ve known her for a year, but I’ve only gotten to talk to her this year.

I told my friend, let’s call her Tänzerin, about this newfound attraction of mine. Tänzerin knows my type of girls that I’m attracted to: very Asian looking, extremely pretty, extremely white–basically Japanese, Korean or Chinese girls who are overly attractive. This girl whom I am insanely attracted to, let’s call her Dil Pickles (Rugrats, for those who don’t know,) is the total opposite of my usual Asian-white-girl attraction.

I don’t know when I started liking Dil, but I’m pretty sure I started liking her because she found my “wit” funny. Plus, she sticks around even though I’m a total pain-in-the-ass. I too found myself sticking by her most of the time; I would walk her back to her condo, I’d accompany her when she buys cigarettes (even if I totally detest those cancer sticks,) or when she drags me to the café that’s opposite of the campus, 20 minutes before class starts, to buy her usual. Most of the things she wants to do are pretty taxing, but I get to spend time with her. And it’s just the two of us, so I guess it’s worth the stress.

What sets her apart from the rest is her extreme uniqueness. She’s just so different from everyone else, and being the amazing writer that I am *ahem* I could probably describe her personality. She’s extremely realist; she does things for herself and only for herself. This is one of the things that I actually don’t like about her, I’ll get to explaining that later on in part three (Yes, there are three parts.) Her philosophy of life is very western; she’s most probably a Nietzsche (Nietzschen?) and more importantly believes in dualism. I have no qualms over other philosophies, but her views definitely clash with mine, since I am Buddhist or better yet, it’s because I believe in holism. I’ll get to that one later on as well. She’s pretty messed up and crazy, but I like messed up and crazy girls.

Dil is definitely not someone I expected to like, much like my ex- that I keep talking about in this blog. HA! How’s that for something that’s implicitly funny yet sad at the same time?

PS. It’s nine days late, I know. Things happened during the week, like talking to Dil about stuff and my friend passing away. So yeah.

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