“And I might look calm and collected at a glance/ But I taste the void when I’m not connected/ To the world kinetic, as opposed to static/ Idle hands a workshop of a modern-day addict”

I don’t know how else to put this. I feel that this country, society, culture or whatever is restraining me. I kinda knew that I never belonged here ever since I got back. It’s like growing up with a foster-mother then years later live with my real mother who is practically stranger. Most things are still pretty alien to me: eating rice, this fascination for malls or even the locals. When I see them, I find myself transported to an unfamiliar place. Yes, I described them as mythical creatures in the most peculiar and racist way.

My mom and I have been wanting to leave this country for a while. We just aren’t as lucky as those deep-pocketed individuals. It annoys me that these people treat life opportunities like loose change. Sometimes they use it. Sometimes they lose it. Sometimes they forget about it. But they know that they can just get more later on.

Going back to point, I know that I can never reach my full potential mostly because of the bad memories from the Clan and my father. Shing02 raps about his muse (or whatever she is) and how she has moved him forward. This struck me too since I need to find my muse in life and getting off these 7,107 islands is the first step.

And I might look calm and collected at a glance

But I taste the void when I’m not connected

To the world kinetic, as opposed to static

Idle hands a workshop of a modern-day addict

On a hot streak for inspiration is key to feed

The mind in need of stimulation

Elevator music to the space station

Penthouse of stars a-blazing

This country is too small for me. I don’t know how else to put it.