The Job

Last January 2, I applied for a teaching job at Japan. This isn’t any old teaching job. This is The Japan Exchange and Teaching Programme, a highly prestigious and sought out career. Teachers here are not only responsible for teaching English but also serve as a catalyst for cultural exchange between Japan and their home country.

This job hits all my dreams and goals I set since highschool: live and work in Japan, teach English, and collect data at grassroots level for publication. Hearing this job application from my former nihongo professor was literally a miracle. I could’ve missed it!

But why write about the fact that I applied to a job? Well for all you regular readers out there, you know I love talking about conflict.

The problem I have here is that I feel the same kind of hope that I had when I just finished my second internship. For three months after that, I applied to numerous companies, agencies, and organisations that I thought would be beneficial for my future career as a diplomat. Everyday I would send applications. Every week I would go to interviews. Every month I would get a boatload of rejections.

It wasn’t because I didn’t meet the minimum requirements. It was because there were other people who were better than me. For three months, I felt so incompetent that I slid into depression.

That’s what I fear from this Programme. I have two other backup plans if I fail to get into this Programme. Yet, what if I fail those? Will I feel so incompetent like back then? Will I slide down the rabbit hole again? This job, I feel, will make me or break me. Plus, the anxiety of waiting for the results isn’t really helping.

2 thoughts on “The Job

  1. This blog post caught my attention, probably because I can relate about the struggle of feeling incompetent, doubting oneself. I’ll be following your blogs from now on with my 2 accounts, this and ablogortwo.com ..Anyway, I hope you’ll get the job. Just stay positive! 😊

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s