Things You Want to Say to an Ex (30 Day Challenge, day 5)

Dear ex-girlfriend,

It’s been quite a long time since we last communicated at all. I really don’t know what to say, but rest assured I am doing better than before. I won’t lie, I’m not doing fine nor am I doing great, but I am doing better. There have been many things that you taught me in the past and guess what, I’m still learning. I am entirely grateful that you came into my life. And I’ll keep saying this… I really do not know how to repay you, though I you’d say “Just live out your life and don’t screw it up” or something like. So now, I guess the only advice I could give is: don’t stop being who you are. You’re the sunshine in the room, in everybody’s life and that’s the one thing you’re really good at. I’m still amazed that it takes no effort for you to do that, anyway.. I hope you’re doing well, I wish you all the happiness. When we somehow cross paths again, I hope it wouldn’t be so awkward.

– Patrick

30 Day Challenge LINK

I’ve been fighting a losing battle alone my entire life, but I never fucking gave up.

My life’s a total mess. I’m doing everything I can to fix it, and I know this isn’t enough. So now I must make a sacrifice, and it’s gonna hurt me more than it will hurt you, even if this means finally fixing my fucked up life that’s full of shit and pain, this sacrifice is a small price to pay for something so great–happiness.

I know this sounds stupid, but I figured the only way to finally get back what I’ve lost is to sacrifice something great, and suffer a little more than usual.

I must do this alone, just like how I’ve done everything else. Alone.

So, yes.

That does mean I’m going back to being a hermit, and this time with a proper reason to do so.

Although, I won’t be invisible like last time

Everyone All unnecessary things¬†around me will turn invisible. That way I don’t see anyone but myself, and I can concentrate on myself. It’s a selfish thig to do, but can you blame me? A person who fucked up his own life and is now doing everything he can to fix it, to make things better for himself, even if it means suffering more than he usually does? No. I didn’t think so.

My first step into fixing my shitty life is to get out of that rat-hole school with a diploma. So I’m gonna study study study, and nothing else. AND I MEAN NOTHING ELSE. If you see me like a robot with no emotions, being a hermit blah blah you’ll know why. As I said, don’t blame me for fixing my life.

PS. I’ve given thought on all of this. So don’t go about lecturing me about what I should and shouldn’t do. You have no fucking clue what shit I’ve been through. So fuck-off and respect my decision. And besides, you aren’t alone, you’re surrounded with people and friends; you’ll do fine without me.