The Mistake

I’ve always thought that I loved what I studied. International Relations (IR) seemed to be a degree that I was determined to finish with pride. I’ve been so wrong, and it took me two weeks of International Law (INTLLAW) *and a semi-covert day out in Ateneo* to find out what I really wanted. It’s true though, that I love to study. I love to read things that have existed for years, and yet never heard of until I’ve read them. I love that professors teach me things that explain why the world is the way it is. My mind is hungry, so hungry that I forgot that I’m made up of more than just a slab of gray matter. I’ve been so caught up in filling my mind that I’ve completely starved my soul. I realised it the hard way.

Studying INTLLAW changed how I did things. I study way in advance, TRY to finish all the materials needed for the day, then review what I’ve studied; I also have other Majors to deal with. I kept doing this routine, until one day, I just cracked. I broke down from the stress, a pressure that I thought I was totally used to. But the stress from my family meddled with my focus to study, and I couldn’t use academics to deviate my attention away from my family. I was completely bare to the emotional attack that I apparently set up for myself all these years without knowing. I had no armour; I was made of glass instead of the usual three-inch-thick-crocodile-skin. I questioned what I was doing, “Is this what I truly want? Getting an IR degree so that I could go back to where I grew up? Is IR what I would have picked at all?” And the answer is, no. Continue reading “The Mistake”

The Difference between My Grandfather, my Father and Me

Not many or even none of you know that my father is an extremely intelligent person. He was the top if his batch from the primary to secondary school. He got honors in every subject; there wasn’t an academic event that he didn’t win a position in. He was the valedictorian in his school, which also means he gave the graduation speech etc.

When he got into a university (the name of the university escapes me), he was at the top of all his classes. He paid his tuition by tutoring his fellow students. He then graduated as magna cum laude with a degree in mechanical engineering. Right after his graduation he was offered a job a company (which name I will not disclose). Years after, he would be the General Manager of a certain department of that multi-international company.

My father, however, is nothing compared to my grandfather, or so I’ve been told. Continue reading “The Difference between My Grandfather, my Father and Me”