Use and Purpose

Before I start writing anything, I want to say that DLSU is an amazing institution for scholarly training and academics. I’m a scholar, and I truly appreciate the time I have spent there. I’ve learnt so much in such a short amount of time. I’ve met brilliant people with mind-shattering ideas. La Salle is and will always be a home for me.

So, what’s with the disclaimer? I think I’ve made a mistake enrolling in a master’s program under La Salle. Let’s start at the beginning.

My initial interview for the graduate program started with the question “Why did you choose La Salle among other universities?”

I answered, “La Salle has a double degree program with Japan, and the others don’t. Academics in UP and Ateneo are amazing, but I’m after the double degree program.”

For a year and 8-ish months, my mind was set on earning that second MA in Japan. But now it seems like that program has disappeared.

I have stated my interest in it with the proper entities and individuals within the university. I have correspondence with them. I have even been told to check for announcements. But now it seems to have disappeared.

La Salle’s purpose to me was to provide an avenue for me to get to Japan, to give me a way to live there for long term, to show me a route and destination for my future. That purpose, in my personal opinion, has gone.

To put it bluntly, La Salle has no purpose for me. I was there for a double degree program, but I haven’t heard from them. When I look back to 2015, I feel like I should gone to ADMU instead.

I’ve always had a bias towards Ateneo. It’s not an academic bias but more of a cultural bias. Plus I live 10 minutes away from Ateneo.

Anyway. So what’s next for good ol’ me? I still plan to go to Japan, but this time for work. I’ll be teaching English and hopefully get a position. If that doesn’t happen, I’ll be transferring to Ateneo by the start of intercession.

The Mistake

I’ve always thought that I loved what I studied. International Relations (IR) seemed to be a degree that I was determined to finish with pride. I’ve been so wrong, and it took me two weeks of International Law (INTLLAW) *and a semi-covert day out in Ateneo* to find out what I really wanted. It’s true though, that I love to study. I love to read things that have existed for years, and yet never heard of until I’ve read them. I love that professors teach me things that explain why the world is the way it is. My mind is hungry, so hungry that I forgot that I’m made up of more than just a slab of gray matter. I’ve been so caught up in filling my mind that I’ve completely starved my soul. I realised it the hard way.

Studying INTLLAW changed how I did things. I study way in advance, TRY to finish all the materials needed for the day, then review what I’ve studied; I also have other Majors to deal with. I kept doing this routine, until one day, I just cracked. I broke down from the stress, a pressure that I thought I was totally used to. But the stress from my family meddled with my focus to study, and I couldn’t use academics to deviate my attention away from my family. I was completely bare to the emotional attack that I apparently set up for myself all these years without knowing. I had no armour; I was made of glass instead of the usual three-inch-thick-crocodile-skin. I questioned what I was doing, “Is this what I truly want? Getting an IR degree so that I could go back to where I grew up? Is IR what I would have picked at all?” And the answer is, no. Continue reading “The Mistake”

Ich Schreibe eine Novella

Breakfast  At Tiffany's
Breakfast At Tiffany’s (Photo credit: joanneteh_32(loving Laduree))

I have an announcement to make, and I believe it’s a very happy announcement. I’ve been trying to get myself to write a story for quite some time now. I’ve written plenty of short stories and a couple of plays, but none of them ever reached ten pages long (Times New Roman 12, double spacing. Just to give you a perspective). That’s all gonna change now. As written above, I’m going to write a novella. Not a novel just yet, I’m not ready for that hahaha!

The novella I’m writing will be based on something I really love. In other words, I’ll be writing a fanfiction. This fanfiction will be different from the other fanfictions of this thing that I’ve read before. Also, I can’t tell you which thing I’m basing this off. Why? It’s part of the story. :D I’ve all ready made the ending of the novella-fanfic, so all I have to do is make everything else.

A little something about the novella-fanfic:

  1. I chose this because I can write it to my style, with my dialouge and whatnot. But aren’t fanfics suppose to be faithful to what it is based on? True. However, there is a part of this thing that has yet to be explored and published by the creator/s. That gives me the liberty of writing the novella-fanfic to whichever way I want.
  2. I see great potential of character and setting development here. The historical background thing is so diverse and shrouded in mystery, I can literally do whatever I want to the characters and setting.
  3. The name of the character will not be disclosed ’til the end of the novella (obviously). There will be only one name that will be disclosed, and I won’t tell you now. :D
  4. It will take a bit of time to write this because of the character’s profession. I have not heard of this profession until the thing told me about it. I will have to do some extensive research on the profession because character seems to be very faithful and very serious about it. I must–at least–give the character the satisfaction of knowing such knowledge.
  5. The last chapters of the novella will begin to reveal the thing.
  6. You, the readers, have the chance to tell me what you want to see in the upcoming chapters. :D All recommendations will be considered, and if it’s really brilliant, I’ll revise it a bit put it in the upcoming chapters.
  7. Everything that I use which isn’t mine will be referenced, cited and mentioned.

The frequency of this novella-fanfic will be irregular. I can’t promise to churn out one chapter a week. I’m a struggling university student who has deadlines to meet. LOL.

One more thing. I’m looking for volunteers who would like to edit my work before I publish it here. If you are interested in doing so, send me a message, add me on facebook or anything. We can meet IRL or online, chat about what’s wrong with the chapter or what needs to be fixed. Critique me, I can take it hahahaha! Oh, the kind of editor I’m looking for HAS to be a better editor than I am.

Yes, we shall have a real writer and editor relationship. :D That being said, it will take me one week at most to release the chapter after editing. If the editor/s tells me that there’s something else to fix after the first edition, it will take me another week at most. So on and so forth.

I wish to publish in quality, not quantity :D YOU HEAR THAT PUBLIC FILIPINO TELEVISION??? QUALITY!!!!

So that’s basically it :D

God is not a Good Excuse


I’m a Buddhist, and many people know this. Even my father knows this. He seems to have a habit of making arguments that just sound really stupid. I’ll talk about that soon, and I promise to keep this post on topic as much as I possibly can, since I have a tendency to deviate.

A few days ago, I had a talk with my tall-hairy-Italian friend (you know who you are) about my father. And I shall now tell you what I told my friend. As I said from the start, I am a Buddhist, and I have a very open mind to many things (as should everybody else). I have no qualms about any religion. Although, when the people who practice it step over the line, well…

I’m not sure if I wrote this in my blog; my father is now a Born Again Christian. He told me this when I had to pay my respects to a relative who passed away this year. So, anyway. For some reason, he is now much more eager to convert me back to Christianity. Oh, the things we discussed that day. He was so silly and fallacious, quite funny even when you dissect the structures of his arguments. Oops, off topic again. Continue reading “God is not a Good Excuse”

There is no Gold at the end of the Rainbow


I’ve been at breaking point for the past two weeks. Around eight days ago, I called Ateneo de Manila University to see if my application for transferee was granted. I woke up as early as I could, because I knew that there would be a long line of people trying to get in touch with their admissions office. I redialed and redialed. They picked up the phone.

“May I please know the status of transferee for [insert name here], please?”
“Please hold, sir.”
“Okay.”
A few seconds pass
“Hello, sir?”
“Yes.” I answered.
“I’m sorry, you were not accepted.”
“Ah. I see.”
“Thank you for calling, sir.”
“Thank you.” I put the phone down.

I sat quietly for a couple of minutes, staring at the phone. I couldn’t believe what I heard. The only thing that was going through my head was, how could this happen? I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t accepted. It caught me so much in disbelief that I actually sat in silence. Continue reading “There is no Gold at the end of the Rainbow”