There is no Gold at the end of the Rainbow


I’ve been at breaking point for the past two weeks. Around eight days ago, I called Ateneo de Manila University to see if my application for transferee was granted. I woke up as early as I could, because I knew that there would be a long line of people trying to get in touch with their admissions office. I redialed and redialed. They picked up the phone.

“May I please know the status of transferee for [insert name here], please?”
“Please hold, sir.”
“Okay.”
A few seconds pass
“Hello, sir?”
“Yes.” I answered.
“I’m sorry, you were not accepted.”
“Ah. I see.”
“Thank you for calling, sir.”
“Thank you.” I put the phone down.

I sat quietly for a couple of minutes, staring at the phone. I couldn’t believe what I heard. The only thing that was going through my head was, how could this happen? I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t accepted. It caught me so much in disbelief that I actually sat in silence. Continue reading “There is no Gold at the end of the Rainbow”

When The Conditions Are Too Perfect

Written on March 24

Today was a rainy day. I love the rain. It makes everything nice and cool to the skin; it’s quite relaxing. The sound of the raindrops on the leaves are so therapeutic. So how did I respond to this? I popped the kettle on the stove and made myself a cuppa tea, and warmed up some sweet ensaymada that my mom brought with her from Cebu. I switched on my laptop, threw my headphones on and worked on my final papers for my classes.

Everything was going swimmingly until my iTunes chose to play ART-SCHOOL. For you to understand what I’m going to share to you, you have to listen to one of their songs. It’s a Japanese band by the way.

Continue reading “When The Conditions Are Too Perfect”

It just keeps getting harder and harder

Today my mother just told me something I wished I never heard. Now I have no choice but to find a job and pay for the bills. Yes, we are in need of financial assistance and I’m the assistance. I really don’t like the idea, but I have to work, or the bills won’t be paid. If anyone knows where I can get a job, most likely in Katipunan, that would such a great great help.

My life us great isn’t it? It just keeps going downhill and it isn’t showing any signs of slowing down :) I’m beginning to hate people a lot nowadays. Like how I hate people who are happy with their lives and how I hate people who can wake up with a smile in their face and enjoy the day and people with whole, happy families that just work and understand each other! I fucking detest those kind of people.

You may call me bitter or a hater, but what the fuck do you know about my life and how I feel? You ain’t walkin’ in my shoes, are ya?

Ten Things Men Forget To Do During Sex!

Got this one from facebook as well :))

No one on earth is quite as pleased as a man who has just pleased a woman between the sheets. We love the care and attention you’ve paid to us for our own benefit, but we also love watching you bask in self-satisfaction. But as satisfied as you might be with yourself, sometimes we’re not quite as satisfied as you’d hoped: something relatively minor, but highly distracting, was a bit “off.”

Don’t be offended, darlings, but a few nips and tucks in your bedroom style might speed things along (in a good way)—leaving us more time for another go at it!

-The clitoris is right there. Yes, right there. Not over here, not down there, not off to the side. It doesn’t move. Try to stay focused and play with the clit!

-Take your socks off. Not a single thing is sexy about a man who is naked except for his socks.

-Lubricant, lubricant, lubricant. We may feel “so wet” to you from our own fluids, but we actually need to be pretty drenched with water-based lube for business time.

-Some women become very aroused by their imaginations, so a little dirty talk about what you’re going to do to us stimulates our biggest sex organ: our brain! (But avoid these 36 words that kill the moment.)

-If you’re going down on us, make sure to keep your tongue wet with spit. A dry tongue chafes down there!

-Unless we’ve expressly indicated that we like our headlights to be tweaked, do not pinch our nipples in the heat of the moment. They’re very, very sensitive!

-Sometimes a light touch is better than a strong one. And a sweet kiss with just your lips is better than a Labrador retriever-style kiss with your tongue.

-We absolutely adore when you gently, tenderly suckle on our fingers (or our toes, for men with mouths of asbestos).

-That look of concentration on your face makes it seem like you’re doing calculations in your head, not making love. Smile a little bit, why don’t you?

-Nipples should be a pit stop on the way to Vaginaville—get off the express train!

Finally, ending

Today I woke up at 5 in the morning so I could review before my tutor arrived. But I also woke up 5 ’cause the porn I downloaded the night before finally finished :)) (though I must say it was quite enjoyable :p) so I took a shower ate brekky while watching Good Morning Mickey, as do I always :)) then alas my tutor arrived early! I didn’t have tine to review anymore, but meh. So began the grueling two hours of El Filibusterismo. I swear, if Filipino were in English, I would gladly read El Fili, sadly, that’ll never happen for obvious reasons :))

Then after two hours, I finally finished the book (salamat sa diyos :)) ) then I felt a small sense of relief, as do I every time I finish all modules on a subject. My mom felt relieved as well, ’cause she knows I feakin suck in Filipino :)) then I told my mom I’d go up and change into my uniform. So I did, and I watched a little porn (I deserve a reward don’t I? :)) ) then I came down with my iPod on, playing on shuffle, although I never expected Fade (by LITE) to play so early in the morning. I turned down the volume so I could hear what my mom and my tutor were talking about, as always.. it’s about showbiz, money, school etc. then as I was about to turn up the volume again my mom said “ay! last time na natin magkikita Jingle!” (my tutor’s name) then on that exact moment, Fade, the song I was listening to, transitioned into a melody that sounded like a “realization” but at the same time it sounded like “sunrise after a dark storm”

It was then and there I started to realize that everything about my high school life was about to end. Today was the last day I would ever see my tutor ever again, and my god we have gone through a hell lot. I owe her a debt of gratitude, is what I thought when I heard my mom speak those words.

My high school life is about to end, and it sucks ’cause I never had a normal highschool life. I’ve always wanted to experience what those kids in HSM experienced. Although a lot of kids haven’t experienced a normal school life… my life outside school affected my life inside school… anyway..

And just when I thought I was finally getting a normal high school life, the thing I thought I’d never get a chance to have or to even just have a taste of, it happens. What happens is, I finally get a chance to feel what those kids feel, even if it’s just a bit, but it’s gonna be short-lived ’cause I’ll be leaving HS soon.

It’s stupid because I thought I didn’t have to experience a great high school life. In all these years I thought I didn’t need such “trivial things”. I thought I could survive on my own and move on to college. Seriously, that’s what I thought.. I thought that being a hermit was all right as long as you get things done. Sure I had friends before, but I dunno… it felt like I wasn’t really there.

But now, that’s not the case, in just a couple of weeks before grad I got a taste of having fun at school, of what it really means to have irreplaceable friends and even I know it’s gonna be short-lived, I finally know what it’s like to have a real high school life. Laughter, pain, betrayal, dramas, hardships, good times, alone times, all that jazz.

I’ve always wanted to get out of HS ever since I first stepped foot in it. But now.. I can’t believe I’m gonna say this… but I’m gonna miss HS, although it wasn’t quite as “normal” as to how everyone would expect it to be, it’s the closest thing I can ever to, it’s the best thing I ever got to.

I’m going to miss everyone.

I guess this is that pain that everyone’s been talking about.

And then I snapped back into reality, what seemed to be minutes and minutes of emotional dwelling, in totality just took up 1:30 of my life (the time left in the song)

I played that song over and over to see if I’ve forgotten to realize something, apparently I didn’t. But maybe it was just due to the fact that I wanted to feel that moment again, that moment when I came to my senses and realized that everything is finally ending.

And so as I type on this iPod and listen to Fade (again) along the way to school, I say, thank you.

FOREVER FORNEVER

(It’s been a while hasn’t it WordPress? Thankfully, you’re one of the few who never leave :P  Expect one more entry every soon)