Exactly one week ago, I told the girl in my dream (here and here. Those were written before I pledged to make better content, so brace yourself) that I love her. She figured I would tell her when I felt like it, even if she didn’t ask, and that she would get it straight from me and not from my friend. We talked ’til 1:45AM, and we talked about a lot of things, mainly on how we should deal with the crumbling relationship we now have. And being the “kind-hearted” girl that she is, she tries to help me move forward. Bless her. I don’t know where to begin, but at least you guys know.
P.S. I’m still working on the post about love. I’m working on paper for uni, so I’m still pretty much swamped.
A couple of days ago, a friend of mine announced that he (keeping identity to a bare minimum here. Actually, let’s name my friend as Jude, one of the greatest names!) is in a relationship with a person of the same-sex, hence, the title of this blog. I’ve actually been having thought’s on Jude’s sexuality ever I first met him. The dude’s really intelligent, though he can be quite klutzy. He is a really awesome friend, and he’s very open to new things and new ideas. When he updated his Facebook status as “now in a relationship,” a load of people bombarded his wall with questions. Although, nobody knew that he was in a gay relationship (the word gay is not offensive. I would know, I had gender studies at uni.) He messaged me on that same night saying: My face just lit up like a fucking Christmas tree on Christmas eve. I LOVE gay couples, especially gay guy couples. Why? Well, I guess it’s because I have a bias for gay guy couples, and I was once in a gay relationship. This relationship was my second-to-the-last I had before I met my ex- (I love how she’s just a basis for everything in this blog.) This was also the point when women started to bore me (I apologise to the female readers), and I needed some extra excitement in my life. I’ll be brutally honest, all I wanted from that relationship was sex, and I played him into thinking that I truly had feelings for him. I got what I wanted, and I basically threw him away because I found another person that could “fulfil my carnal desires.” My gay relationship ended badly, and it was very ugly. At any rate, I wished Jude good luck and help if he ran into any problems.
In terms of me getting into a relationship, I have no idea where I’m headed. Acads and uni seem to be the centre of my existence, and it’s frustrating to know that I don’t have time to like someone, to let her know that I do genuinely love her or to make her feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Ironically, I had time to tell her that I wouldn’t want to see her (here).
I am all sorts of confusion. I might write about my gay relationship one day, omitting the sexual content of course.
A song by my very talented cousin! I have I high standards when it comes to art, and this is fan-blooming-tastic!
Around a week ago, one of my favourite artists released a song on his SoundCloud (video of song above). It left me asking question about what I should be doing with myself. I knew what I needed to do in my life, and I’ve all ready set out a plan for my career. I just don’t know what to do with myself personally.
For the past weeks, many friends have been trying to get in touch with me, and I’ve also been trying to help them out with their problems. I want to help them because I do want to see them smile again (yes, they are of the female kind).
They got me thinking. I’ve been helping a lot of people with their personal problems for the past three or so years, but I really haven’t been paying any attention to myself. My problem with my father is going beyond my control. It’s probably because he has the upper-hand in my family. The fate of my family and my future rests in the hands of an incompetent man. How’s that for being fucked up? Anyway… Continue reading “Where Am I Headed?”