My chest was invaded by pieces ever-expanding shards of ice. What was happening to me? I considered that a long shower would calm me down.
My invader liquefied into a thick hot stream of satin which coursed my arteries till my heart realized it was drowning in adrenalin. I felt so hot, unstable, and dizzy that the wall that protected my naked body from the outside quickly became a mother’s embrace while my shower head continued to rain on me. I tried catching my breath; I say I tried because I only got worse.
I relinquished myself to my veiled invader, not knowing what it was that made me concede. I concluded that I was longing for someone. Why? I thought. I don’t know why, but I wanted it. Of all the people I’ve been with, fell in love with, kissed with, held hands with, gazed eyes with, caught scent with, touched skins with, and shared silence with, there was only one in my mind. I had an unnatural desire to have her.
My synapses sparked for her when I had seconds for myself. This time was different; she just wouldn’t disappear from my head. Continue reading “I’m perverse. You always knew, but I’m saying it.”